


I Cross My Heart and Hope To Die

by Maika_Zaphiris



Series: NHL College (Montreal Canadiens) [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boy Band, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, And Ticker's so fragile, Beau's a rockstar, Breaking Up & Making Up, M/M, Marianas Trench - Freeform, Montreal Canadiens, NHL RPF, Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-17 12:18:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3529121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maika_Zaphiris/pseuds/Maika_Zaphiris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another day without him. God he regretted what he did. Nathan was about to play with his school band. The person he cared about the most isn't in the crowd... where was he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Cross My Heart and Hope To Die

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I want to thank my friends Erika and [Zephyr](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ZephyrWolffOfTheShire) for the feedback while I typed this one shot.
> 
> It is actually based on the song [Cross My Heart](https://youtu.be/JC75YzbGhUc) by Marianas Trench and it is highly recommended to listen while you read.
> 
> (You can read Zephyr's drabble using the same song, but with the ship Destiel right [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3523382) )

“Okay everyone! Starting in 10!…”

Nathan closed his eyes and took a deep breath while a technical assistant was setting up his guitar. As he opened them again, he looked behind him to look at his bandmates getting ready as well. He sighed. He really didn’t want to be here tonight…

“9… 8… 7…”

The technical assistant was done with his instrument and walked away to go back to her seat. He then noticed Jarred looking at him with sympathy.

“…What?”

“I don’t know man, are you gonna be okay for the show?”

“Well if I’m here, that means I gotta do this…”

“I meant if you’re going to make it through it.”

Nate paused for a second.

“6… 5… 4…”

Tinner laid a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “You know, you don’t have to do this.”

“I can do it.”

“You sure?”

“A hundred per cent.”

“Alright…”

“3… 2…”

He took another deep breath. “Alright let’s do it boys!”

“1… Off you go guys! Have fun!”

Beau walked on stage with Jarred, Christian and Sven. Fans cheered, screamed, being excited. Being the NHL College’s main band, the boys were pretty popular in the school. Nathan scanned the room, trying to look for a certain someone in the wave of boys and girls, only to be disappointed. The quartet walked to their positions: Jarred to the drums in the back (“Why am I the drums?” he once asked in the past. “Cuz you’re big and you can smash like Hulk!” Christian laughed. He ended with a black eye.), Christian with the bass on one side, Sven with the lead guitar (to Nathan’s surprise, the kid was pretty good) on the other and Nate with the rhythm guitar at the front.

“Are you ready NHL?” Nathan exclaimed in the mic, getting a loud and positive reply from the crowd. “I can’t hear you!!!!” It became even louder, making the young man smile. He looked back at Tinner, who started twirling his drum sticks before tapping them, giving the tempo to the band.

“ONE TWO THREE FOUR!!!!”

* * *

The guys jammed with the whole room dancing on the beat. Including their own compositions, the band played popular groups such as Simple Plan, Linkin Park, Fall Out Boy and many more. After finishing a song under the cheering of the fans, Nathan looked to the crowd again, scanning it. His eyes stopped on a pair of bright brown eyes on the front row staring at him, recognizing them. For him, it’s as if time froze. Thankfully, his mouth was far enough from the mic when he whispered:

“Dustin…”

The older man was looking at Nate with a neutral look, making the younger slightly uncomfortable.

_“This can’t keep going like this, dude.”_

Beau tried to shake off the thoughts, but they were too strong…

_“I tried to hold myself all this time, but this is getting too far!”_

_Nathan looked annoyingly at his older friend. Actually his “boyfriend”. Dustin Tokarski was a junior at NHL College while Nate was a sophomore, but they knew each other since they were kids. They started dating since a while, but things became sour when Ticker heard rumors about Beau sleeping around with girls, which so far the latter didn’t deny, instead trying to talk about something else._

_“Annnnd what do you expect me to say?”_

_“Are you being serious right now? I don’t know, an explanation or something maybe?!”_

_“I have nothing to say about it.”_

_“And what, you expect me to just act like nothing happened and deal with it?”_

_“…Maybe?” Nate answered with a sarcastic tone._

_Dustin snorted, not believing._

_“Do you even give two shits about how I feel sometimes?”_

_Nathan simply ignored the older man’s question and looked outside a window, making Dustin sigh._

_“What’s so good about those girls that I don’t give to you, Nathan? What did I do wrong?”_

_Still no answer._

_“…was everything a lie? All what you told me that night… Were those false?”_

_“Probably. Can we talk about something else now?” Nathan’s voice became cold. Both young men became quiet for a solid 5 minutes. Dustin spoke up again._

_“I can’t believe you… How could you…”_

They were still looking at each other. Nathan saw the hint of pain in Dustin’s eyes, making him regret everything that happened.

_“I thought you were genuine all this time…”_

_“Alright you know what?! If you’re going to ramble all the time about this, you might as well shut up Dustin! I have other shit to do than standing in front of you while you whine about something that isn’t your fucking business! Stop being a fucking baby, grow up and act your fucking age!”_

_He saw Dustin flinch before balling his fists and his face became red from anger._

_“The fact that you are the main rockstar of this school doesn’t mean you can act like whatever the fuck you want, Nathan!”_

_“Shut the fuck up Dustin!” Nathan started yelling against him. “You’re fucking annoying, you know that?! How about you get lost already?!”_

_He didn’t saw the strong punch coming right in the middle of his face. Grunting of pain and holding his face, he fell backwards on the ground. Everyone around them gasped and looked at the scene. Glancing at his hand seeing that he was bleeding from his nose, Nathan then looked up. His eyes went wide when he saw tears were streaming down Dustin’s face, who just punched him. The older man tried to not sob._

_“Fuck you Beaulieu! I fucking hate you!” Dustin spun around and started running away from the scene, leaving Nathan stunned on the floor in the middle of the hallway with witnesses around him…_

* * *

He snapped out of his thoughts after a while. He noticed Dustin looking away. “Shit…” he thought. An idea suddenly popped up in his mind. He looked behind him at his band mates.

“Guys! Let’s do Cross My Heart!”

“What??? Dude, that was not what we planned!” Sven exclaimed away from his microphone. Jarred then noticed Dustin in the crowd before giving a hint to Christian, who realized quickly as well.

“Ghetto!”

“What? Don’t tell me you’re okay with this!”

“Trust Beau. If he wants that song, let’s do it.”

The young man then noticed Ticker as well before realizing what was happening. He nodded to his other friends before Tinner nodded to Nathan, who grinned widely. “Thanks guys!” He looked back to the front to speak to the crowd.

“Alright everyone listen up!”

The crowd became gradually silent, letting the young man speak.

“The final song is dedicated for someone I care about a lot. This person is actually in the crowd, watching the show with all of you. I hope that this person will enjoy it, as well as everyone else! The song is, and I’m sure you know it, Cross My Heart by Marianas Trench!”

They start cheering when Sven started strumming the first notes of the song. Soon enough, the whole band started playing and the crowd started jumping on the beat. Nathan, as his memories came back, started singing:

_**So here's another day** _

_**I'll spend away from you** _

_**Another night I'm on another broken avenue** _

_**My bag is ripped and worn** _

_**Then again now so am I** _

_**Take what you want to take** _

_**What you wanna take** _

_**What you…** _

_Days has passed since the breakup. Both men hung out with their respective friends and whenever they met each other’s way, they simply ignored each other. Soon enough, however, Nathan started regretting his actions. He started missing his former lover’s presence next to him. He started to feel… miserable._

_**I miss the stupid things** _

_**We'd go to sleep and then** _

_**You'd wake me up and kick me out of bed at 3 AM** _

_**Pick up the phone and hear you saying dirty things to me** _

_**Do what you wanna do** _

_**What you wanna do** _

_**What you…** _

_He remembered the intimate moments they had together. The cheesy pickup lines, the kisses, the cuddles… There was even a moment where Tinner, being Nathan’s roommate, caught them in bed almost fully naked. “What the actual fuck?!”_

_They didn’t speak about the incident for weeks._

_**Take me with you** _

_**I start to miss you** _

_**Take me home** _

_**I don't wanna be alone tonight** _

_They used to go back to the dorms together, sometimes sleeping at each other’s room, bringing the teasing from their respective roommate. Greg Pateryn, Dustin’s roommate, even brought up once before they started dating: “I better not hear the kinky while I sleep!”. Many pillows were thrown at him._

_**And I do want to show you** _

_**I will run to you to you till I** _

_**Can't stand on my own anymore** _

_**I cross my heart and hope to die** _

_**Cross my heart and hope to die** _

_**Cross my heart and hope to…** _

_Nathan was able to stay entire days in his room when he didn’t had class, simply staying in bed and getting up sometimes to go to the bathroom or to eat. Jarred tried many ways to get him outside, with no success._

_**Hotels are all the same** _

_**You're still away from me** _

_**Another day** _

_**Another dollar that I'll never see** _

_**Gonna get the pieces** _

_**The pieces** _

_**Pieces of something good** _

_**Lie just a little lie** _

_**Just a little lie** _

_**Just a…** _

_Days became weeks. Then months. Nathan became an empty shell, barely interacting with anyone except the guys from the band. His grades started to drop, getting called once in a while by his teachers, who were worried about him._

_“You know Nathan, you can talk to me if you want to get something out from your heart.”_

_He looked up to Jean-Jacques Daigneault, his art teacher, who was staring at him with a worried look. The young man didn’t know how to react. Mr. JJ was a nice man, actually caring about his students in general and always willing to help them. Nate looked down on the ground, trying to think of something._

**_I wonder what you’re doing_ **

**_I wonder if you doubt it_ **

**_I wonder how we ever used to go so long without it_ **

**_I don't know where to go_ **

**_I'm going back to you_ **

**_Be where I ought to be_ **

**_Where I ought to be_ **

**_Where I…_ **

_Beau did try to talk to Dustin multiple times, getting ignored every time. Most of the time, Dustin continued to walk in front of him, acting like he didn’t see his ex. After a point, the youngest gave up, knowing that it was now useless to try. Sometimes, during the day, he drifted off in his mind, wondering what Dustin was doing, if he was okay._

**_Take me with you_ **

**_I start to miss you_ **

**_Take me home_ **

**_I don't wanna be alone tonight_ **

_He spent many nights looking through the pictures they did together in the past years through his phone, reminiscing. With their families, their friends… only the two of them. Many bro hugs, pranks… kisses as well._

**_And I do want to show you_ **

**_I will run to you to you till I_ **

**_Can't stand on my own anymore_ **

**_I cross my heart and hope to die_ **

Nathan took a deep breath before looking at Dustin who was now looking at him with wide eyes. He grabbed the microphone before starting to sing softly while looking at his ex.

**_Take me with you_ **

**_I start to miss you…_ **

_He remembered when he actually confessed to Ticker. He never felt so happy in his life when Dustin accepted to become his lover. The first kiss… it was magical._

As the band and himself started repeating together the stanza, Nathan noticed Dustin being stunned before smiling and crying a bit. Smiling as well, he got his guitar ready before singing powerfully:

**_Take me Home_ **

**_I don't wanna be alone tonight_ **

The crowd started jumping and head banging with the song as Nate and Sven sung the lines and Christian and Jarred sung the adlibs. The lead singer saw Dustin dancing and singing as well, huge smile on his lips.

**_And I do want to show you_ **

**_I will run to you to you till I_ **

**_Can't stand on my own anymore_ **

**_I cross my heart and hope to die_ **

Nathan started reminiscing the moments he shared with Dustin. The joyous ones, the sad ones… They all ended with a kiss or cuddles… For him, all he cared about was Dustin’s well-being.

**_And I do want to show you_ **

**_I will run to you to you till I_ **

**_Can't stand on my own anymore_ **

**_I cross my heart and hope to die_ ** _  
_

_It was already difficult for Dustin, who was bullied by jocks once in a while. Every time Nathan showed up to defend his lover, the bullies would simply walk away, actually scared of the consequences (aka the band whooping their asses, that did happen once). At some point, Ticker grew tired of it and cried in Nate’s arms, who comforted him until he fell asleep, cuddling. The younger spent many hours during the night watching him sleep peacefully, sometimes giving him a soft kiss on his forehead or on his lips, before falling asleep as well._

**_And I do want to show you_ **

**_I will run to you to you till I_ **

**_Can't stand on my own anymore_ **

**_I cross my heart and hope to die_ **

Both men looked at each other, smiling warmly. For Beau, that’s all that counted. Dustin’s happiness. As the other guys sang the harmonies, he sang the final chorus.

**_And I do want to show you_ **

**_I will run to you to you till I_ **

**_Can't stand on my own anymore_ **

**_I cross my heart and hope to die…_ **

The crowd cheered for their performance. Nathan, all sweaty, looked behind him to his bandmates with a huge grin on his face. They did the same, laughing a bit. When he looked back to the front, Dustin was gone from the crowd.

* * *

Half an hour after the show was over, all the fans left the auditorium, leaving only the guys who were sitting backstage, drinking a beer celebrating. Christian was being hyper, glad about the performance that was a success again. Nathan chuckled at his friend’s reaction before hearing footsteps. As he looked behind him, he saw Dustin smiling a bit. The young man looked back to his bandmates who grinned as well, telling him to go meet his ex. Nate stood up before walking towards Ticker.

“Hey…”

“Hey…”

“Shall we go somewhere else?”

“Sure.” They both waved at the other guys before leaving the auditorium. They walked towards the dorms for a bit before Dustin spoke up.

“You guys were great tonight. I mean it.”

“Thanks.”

“Tell me…”

“Hm?” They both stopped in front of the old oak in the middle of the campus. The older man looked up at Nathan.

“Was that song… about us?”

Nate immediately knew what he meant. He had a blank for a few seconds before nodding.

“Was it… genuine? Everything you sang…”

“Y-Yeah… it was… Listen, Dustin, it was stupid of me of doing this to you. I shouldn’t have cheated on you, you totally didn’t deserve this. You may not think it, but I love you and I missed you. I understand if you’re still angry against me and don’t want to talk to me. Actually I don’t deserve you. You deserve someone else who will actually care about you and not run and have—”

The youngest got interrupted by a kiss from Dustin, making him stunned before he let himself melt in the kiss. They broke the kiss after a while to breathe, touching each other’s forehead.

“Of course I deserve you. I still love you, dummy.” Dustin chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Nathan’s neck.

Nathan sighed of relief, smiling before kissing him again as he wrapped his around his now-lover-again. “I’ll never abandon you again. Never.”

“Promise?” The older asked between kisses.

“Cross my heart and hope to die…”


End file.
